A Browns Fan, behind enemy lines: Well, kind of!

Have you ever had that feeling, standing in a room full of strange people, that they knew something you didn’t?  Now let us pretend this room was your room and these people are your neighbors, family, and friends.  As a Browns fan living in Columbus, allegiances aren’t as visual as they once were; save one.  This team has your token black color base BUT yellow as their accent color.   This isn’t the pastel yellow of the table cloth your mother used to use on the kitchen table for Sunday dinner.   I’m talking; “I just drank three cups of coffee and the urine exiting my body” is the closest way to describe this yellow.  It’s vile, it’s repulsive, and it’s your Pittsburgh Steelers.

When did a team that doesn’t even reside in the great state of Ohio, become a staple in OUR sports scene?  Don’t get me wrong, there is a perfectly good place for these colors and their symbol in Columbus, it’s at the bottom of your toilet bowl (under the digested coffee).
 
In the scheme of things, I am a rather new Brownie.   My fandom began when Eric Metcalf was Josh Cribbs, before Josh Cribbs was Josh Cribbs (yes, I was trying to be redundant).  Back then, the orange and brown were color staples in this region.  You wouldn’t even consider being friendly with a Steeler, let alone welcoming one into your home (that is, unless you wanted to let him relieve himself in a certain toilet).  We wouldn’t even buy Browns memorabilia that shared the same store as the aforementioned colors not to mention the same aisle!

“Well, it’s not really a rivalry anymore,” someone made the mistake of saying to me once.  Not a rivalry?  “Let me explain it to you this way…Say your wife cheated on you with someone.  Let’s also say you love your wife dearly (for arguments sake) and this would break your heart.  Now, say that guy lost his job and has fallen on hard times, do you now forgive him for sleeping with your wife (and ladies, feel free to reverse the scenario, just be a Browns fan)?”   NO!  You simply find the ‘help wanted’ section of your paper, defecate on it, and offer to him (and by offer to him, I mean stick it to his front door) as a token of your ‘forgiveness.’

This is a call to arms Browns fans.  I don’t care if Modell selling the team caused you to jump ship, I don’t care if you forget what a touchdown looks like, and I most certainly DO NOT CARE if you think being a Bengals fan is acceptable (it’s not by the way).  It is time to get back to the era of elite fandom.  It is time to make Steelers fans watch the game from outside of your home.  It is once again time to paint these cities/towns in orange and brown (metaphorically speaking of course).  Say it with me, “I am a PROUD Browns fan…and we’ll ALWAYS have next year!”

Josh A. Wagy
Josh is a Quality Assurance Analyst from Columbus, OH. While not assuring quality, he is an avid sports/concert fan and can be seen balling his eyes out in Nationwide Arena (Columbus Blue Jackets) when not glued to his television on Sundays. He is available at joshwagy@gmail.com at your request. He also shares an uncanny resemblance to Rick Nash, picture attached